Written by Angelica Mull
1 Person
SUSANE
You
don’t deserve to call yourself mother.
You let him beat me, Rape me all because you loved him. But what about me mother. You didn’t love me huh, I wasn’t good enough
to be loved. I told you every night I
was afraid, But you never listened. You
told me it was apart of being a woman. I
was 12 mother, I WAS A CHILD for God sakes.
But it didn’t matter to you huh, because you still had someone to hold
you at night, AT THE EXPENSE of me.
Don’t you shed a God damn tear. You
don’t deserve to call yourself mother. You ruined my life and all that was to
become of me. So don’t cry for me.
Because its you I cry for Diane, Cause you’re the one who’s sick. Have a good time in hell.
2 Person:
CLAIRE
You
know it’s almost that time of the year
JAKE
What
time might that be?
CLAIRE
The
time where you realized it was me you wanted to spend the rest of your life
with.
JAKE
Wait
I thought only the wedding anniversary was counted yearly.
CLAIRE
You
are such a gentleman, just forget I said anything.
JAKE
Oh
come over here, give papa some suga’, you know I didn’t mean you know
harm. I just find it funny you woman, I
mean the love of my life seem to find a new way to get some money and roses
CLAIRE
(Smacks
JAKE)
If I
didn’t know you I would think you were being a jerk but since I love you I will
let it slide.
JAKE
For
what price? (winks)
CLAIRE
Now
you know what I am going to suggest. But
that’s for later for now you could think about what I want, hopefully you think
of something shiny or maybe something that rolls.
JAKE
How
about a spoon, and a tennis ball?
CLAIRE
Keep
it up your one joke away from the couch.
JAKE
I
married you for all the right reasons, you love my money, want more of my
money, and look good in my money. Perfect
wife
CLAIRE
I
love you to Jake.
3 person:
KRAVAUGHN
Hey
you guys catch the game last night
JAMES
Did
you forget I had a wife and three kids.
CHRIS
I
wasn’t home, I was out studying
JAMES
Whos
anatomy?
CHRIS
Jokes
I see, anyways I was out with Charlene, she doesn’t like when I watch the game.
JAMES
Let
me guess you TiVO’D it?
CHRIS
You
know this MAN!
KRAVAUGN
Oh,
the game was iight, but see I like a girl who likes sports, they have a extra
sense of sexy to them.
JAMES
Are
you even in a relationship?
CHRIS
Yeah,
what you know about a woman? Aren’t you a virgin?
KRAVAUGHN
Your
moms could problem answer that.
JAMES
Low
blow, dude
KRAVAUGHN
I
wasn’t going to talk about my experience with your moms but since you talking
about low blows……
JAMES
Iight,
Chris, should smash on this dude?
CHRIS
Iight
everybody come down, it aint that serious, we all know who is still a virgin?
(Everyone
looks at Kravaughn)
KRAVAUGHN
Iight
what ever!
CHRIS
Just
joking!
JAMES
Iight
you got me I’m done
KRAVAUGHN
(Answers
his phone)
Hello…..Hey
baby….yeah I miss you…..tonight…..ok……where that thing I like.....
JAMES
This
dude
CHRIS
He’s
a trip
KRAVAUGN
Ok,
1, Ima be outside armed and ready girl…..I will see you tonight……
JAMES
Who
the heck was that….she sound sexy
KRAVAUGHN
Chris
moms.
4 people:
SHANTEL
Hey
girls….so you know why I called you out right?
FRANCIS
Why?
No one told me?
STEPH
Are
you pregnant?
SHANTEL
No
silly, I’m getting married
ANGELICA
And,
I’m the president
SHANTEL
You
must be
ANGELICA
Wait,
Charles proposed?
SHANTEL
YES!!!!!!!!
(she holds out her hand)
ANGELICA
Oh
my gosh girl!!!!
(ALL
the girls start screaming)
SHANTEL
I
know I couldn’t believe it!!!!!
FRANCIS
This
is amazing?
STEPH
So
you’re not pregnant?
SHANTEL
Really
Stephanie?
FRANCIS
Stephanie,
not everyone is you
ANGELICA
That
is messed up,
SHANTEL
But
true.
FRANCIS
You
know we love you girl.
SHANTEL
Ladies,
this is about me…..REMEMBER!!!!!!
ANGELICA
Oh
yes, So how did he do it
SHANTEL
Well
it was late at night
FRANCIS
LIES!!!!
ANGELICA
I am
with Francis
SHANTEL
Why?
(Francis
and Angelica look at each other)
ANGELICA
We
know what goes on in your house at night….need we say more?
SHANTEL
Oh
shut up, like I was saying, it was at night, we were getting ready to get in
bed and call it a night. He is leaving for
the weekend so we were packing his bags and just getting some quality time
in. So I dropped his watch on the floor,
and I saw him doing something funny in the closet. So I snuck up behind him.
OMG
GIRLS!!!
ANGELICA
What
happened?
FRANCIS
I
hate when you tell stories
STEPH
Spit
it out
SHANTEL
Ok,
ok, gosh he turned to me and said, you know I love you with all my heart right?
I said yes, he said and I would do anything for you? I said yes, he grabbed me
by my left hand…got down on one knee and said…APRIL FOOLS
FRANCIS
Wait
I don’t get it?
STEPH
This
heffa done pulled one over on us
ANGELICA
I
can’t believe you did this
SHANTEL
Come
on give it to me this was the best April Fools ever
ANGELICA
I
will admit that was a good one (giggles)
FRANCIS
So
who’s ring is that
SHANTEL
It’s
a 10.00 fake from target
STEPH
This
trick! I sware….I love her
(All
the girls start laughing)
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